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@TheMichaelRock: *throws up gang signs*
*never eats gang signs again*
@PimpleEye: I always carry cake, just in case someone pulls a knife on me.
@pleatedjeans: Always live on the bottom floor it's further from heaven and harder for God to see you sinning
@TheMichaelRock: Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have?
Me: That's correct, son.
@sarcasticmommy4: I saw a lady jogging in the rain & I was like, "how sad, she doesn't know she could be sleeping in her bed right now."
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days?
Me: I think that's a myth.
Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.