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@susiezennario: Ticketmaster: $55 per ticket
Me: ok I’ll take 2
Ticketmaster: ok that will be $400
@Mr_Kapowski: Advertised as a "Cougar Cruise"
Reality - Weight loss cruise where live cougars are released & you spend your vacation fleeing large cats
@3sunzzz: If you're bringing a kid to my house, it better be a baby goat.
@AnniemuMary: I painted 1 room & then the hallway and room next to it looked kinda shabby and I'm guessing this is how plastic surgery gets out of hand.
@drinksmcgee: Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that.
@EndhooS: Come on guys, lemme back in the gang! I'm real good at crimes!
"YOU GOT ARRESTED BY A POLICE HORSE CARL HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE"