@weinerdog4life: Tie a sweater around your waist so you can pretend a short ghost is hugging you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@withanewname: [shopping] [wife being a real pain] Me: *hands her the broom we just bought* You want me to carry this? Or do you want to drive it home?
@The_MartiniGirl: Find someone to make you laugh everyday and if that doesn't work find alcohol like I did.
@GregDorris: It's impossible to have an *ok* time on a trampoline. It's either the most fun you've ever had or you go to the hospital.
@alli_win: I'm convinced that Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.