@JimCarrey: Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)
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@jazmasta: [emergency room] "We need to put pressure on the wound!" [to wound] We've been together 6 months now, I think we should move in together"
@: I once tried to the Dirty Dancing lift with my cat but it turns out Mr. Mittens isn't very strong.
@HannahB_15: Who decides which tweets go viral and which ones don't?? I have been putting out quality content for YEARS and I'm starting to understand how Leonardo DiCaprio felt waiting for his Oscar.
@rolldiggity: ME: "This might be a dumb question..." SCIENTIST: "There's no such thing as dumb que--" ME: "Am I a dragon?"