@JimCarrey: Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)
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@ValeeGrrl: My daughter spelled America "Merica" on a book report so now I'm searching her room for Trump campaign propaganda.
@Jebo_te_patak: You say tomato, I say that's a weird thing to say for no reason. We were just sitting here quietly, and you're all "tomato." You can leave.
@handsock_butts: Me: I didn't get anything this year. Do you think Santa's magic...is running out? Wife: Santa isn't real Me: Don't lie to save my feelings
@chagger73: My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after.