@TheTweetParrot: Time flies when you throw your alarm clock out the window.
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@KenJennings: You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film "Helicopter Shots of People Walking."
@_Mo_lee_: Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go Bad Batman: Ben Affleck
@KrunkedRobot: A kid at the park is wearing a Joker shirt, I am going to slowly take my coat off revealing my Batman T and shit is about to get real.
@earthfalcon33: PRANK TIME: tie your friend's shoelaces together and when he tries to walk throw a wolf at him