@TheTweetParrot: Time flies when you throw your alarm clock out the window.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5...
@chelliet22: My daughter just informed me that 75% of you follow me because of how I look. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or insulted.
@jasonroeder: I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado.
@rickolantern: Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June.