@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.
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@onion_an: Me: My dog ran away two days ago Dog pound: Does he have a tag? Me [covers phone to ask wife]: Is the dog on Instagram?
@MissBamantha: I like to pride myself on knowing whether it's Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure by the first bum bum bum badda dum bum.
@bazecraze: A National Treasure where Nicholas Cage has to find the model number on a 15 year old dishwasher.