@pinupteacher: Time out. Otters not only sleep holding hands, but have a SPECIAL POCKET to hold their favorite rock? Humans are bullshit.
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@msbtx: Son: What does "nihilism" mean? Me: "Everything is meaningless." Son: Wow ok nice attitude. Do you know what it means or not?
@TheToddWilliams: An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii.
@shawn_spree: My wife is still mad at me for that 20 minute blank stare I did when she asked me what I was thankful for on Thanksgiving day.
@PaulyPeligroso: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Hide all that weed because police lights are too.