@ch000ch: [time traveler returns home to 1881] guys i forgot to grab the cure for malaria but here's some...DORITOS LOCOS TACOS [loud cheering]
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@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance
@iGreenMonk: Whenever my wife sing, i open up my room windows so the neighbors don't think I'm beating her.
@juliussharpe: Arthur Miller underratedly sucked at naming characters. "Biff"?? "Happy"?? Dude, take five more minutes.