@DadandBuried: Time zones shouldn’t be based on geography, they should be based on age. For example, you may think it’s only 10:30, but for a 40yo, it’s actually two in the morning.
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@Tommytoughstuff: Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]
@squirrel74wkgn: My sense of smell has been gone ever since the, “smell this leftover ham” incident back in 2004.
@ninjadinosaur1: I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley.