@withanewname: Times are tough, my daughter just repossessed a paper airplane she made me, over a quarter I owed her from yesterday
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@novicefather: [william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!
@Darlainky: Interviewer- Marlene, what inspired you to pursue a life of comedy? Marlene- Well, I'm glad you asked... *Mouth directly on mic* YOUR FACE
@panmidwest: [end of long conversation] HER: let me give you my number ME: great! [forgot name] how do you spell your name? HER: ME: HER: k-i-m ME: