@hobo_hands: Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one.

@decentbirthday: Barista: Latte for Waldo Barista: Do we have a Waldo here Barista: Where's Waldo Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that

@Swain_Train47: Cop 1: You think Simon will escape? Cop 2: Nah, he's locked up in there good. Simon: Simon Says free me. Cop 1: Dang it, he got us.

@Malocallidus: I see dead people. Well actually they're stupid people, but give me a few minutes

@_youhadonejob1: You Had One Job!