@tombrodude: tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home
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@Home_Halfway: ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water? FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant
@unravelingfire: Him: You're sexy as hell. Her: I'm an atheist. Him: You're sexy as vast abysmal and empty nothingness. Her: Awwwww, thank you.
@Try2StopME: He: That's a handsome dog. What's his name? She: Roger He: Does he bite? She: No He: How does he eat then?