@theevilwriter: Tip: if you often say things like "there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers.
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@DanMentos: "none of your ridiculous drink recipes tonight, ok dan?" I promise [later] *stuffing flatbread into blender* WHO WANTS A PITA COLADA
@gavinpivott: I was in a flash mob once. We'd mainly just hold people at gunpoint until they updated their Adobe.
@venkaiceprinces: Looks like I'm finally going to meet my twitter crush, don't know if I should diet or let him find out the hard way Im good w camera angles
@thatdutchperson: [remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president.