@theevilwriter: Tip: if you often say things like "there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers.
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@AngelaEhh: My bladder has been tested on this road trip. I still don't know how far a 'mile' really is but I can drive 75 of them before I have to pee.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Was the island real or were they dead the whole time? Sony tech support: We can't answer that kind of TV question, sir.