@Scdavis24: Tip Of the Day: You can easily avoid bruising your thigh by not staring at a female jogger and then walking into a fire hydrant.
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@sexncake: I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows.
@omerwahaj: Year 2142: Meat eaters have died out. Vegans survive. 2143: Everyone is dead b/c the vegans couldn't tell anyone else that they were vegan.
@TankCesar: *murderer looking for me* Murderer: I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me... Me under bed: *cry sings* He's just a poor boy from a poor family