@GulfCoastJake: Tip: When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?" do NOT respond with "I know, right?!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RickAaron: Whole Foods just notified me that I've won a "Lifetime Supply of Fresh Kale" which in my case is one kale.
@ibid78: [math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
@T_Bonezzz: When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier
@IdoNotPoo: It's all fun and games until you find the Twitter crush who catfished you is infact your husband