@Mike_Bianchi: Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.
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@MiahSaint: Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.
@_2Birds1Stoned_: If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.
@carlyken: Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a "Do you like me: Yes or no?" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.