@TheMichaelRock: Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead.
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@ltsKermit: mom: who’s your background? me: my boyfriend mom: can i meet him? me: not before i do mom: what? me: what?
@david8hughes: On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm.
@Izianikapani: Australia is touted as a great model of gun control but no one mentions our unlimited access to boomerangs.