@TheMichaelRock: Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead.
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@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.
@Tmoney68: Ratatouille (2007) - A terrible chef knowingly allows a rat infestation in his employer's kitchen to distract from his gross incompetence.
@Rollinintheseat: If history has taught me anything, it's that the person with the loudest, wettest cough will always sit down beside me in a waiting room.
@Phook75: "Nobody wants to hear about pooping" Actually Mom, I think you'll find that there's an entire social network dedicated to proving you wrong.