@weinerdog4life: Titanic, but with literally thousands of cats.
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@TheDairylandDon: Joker: You're endangering a minor Batman: He's my partner Joker: Why's he in his underwear? Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.
@StarksWeek: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want
@iwearaonesie: "UNLESS WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE'S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!" - me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum
@MensHumor: Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.