@weinerdog4life: Titanic, but with literally thousands of cats.
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@lisaxy424: Just noticed there's no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
@Mindless4Miles: Me: "Breath mint?" Her: "Sure." M: "Don't mean to offend." H: "None taken." M: "Great. Good to hear. Care for a push up bra?"
@geowizzacist: (Me playing guitar) 3: Daddy what's this song called? Me: Going Nowhere. 3: I know that but what's this song called? Burned by a 3yo.