@figgled: [to a straight couple]
Which one is the lesbian and which one is the other lesbian
@Where__wolf: You guys have been the worst hostages I've ever used, hands down.
*everyone lowers their hands*
@Ndeshi_M: Bailiff: State your name for the court
Hr: Clara Sofía Alba Constanza Guadalupe...
Judge: That’s enough I want to get out of here b4 lunch!
@shkeeber: Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography.
@tnylgn: I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid my friends will give me the funeral I told them I wanted when I was drunk.
@RexHuppke: BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota