@figgled: [to a straight couple]
Which one is the lesbian and which one is the other lesbian
@ItsAndyRyan: I always go the extra mile at work. That's why I'm a terrible taxi driver.
@MoistPork: I just typed "relationship" and it came up "delusional" on my phone. First time I realized my phone really is smart.
@1_swarthy_dude: Warning: objects in your rear may feel larger than they they appear.
@mommy_cusses: Let me tell you how you lost this game according to these rules I've just made up.
-Kids when you play board games together.
@jus4golf: Me: What's for dinner?
Me: I will make the Duck Sauce.
*fires up juicer