@figgled: [to a straight couple]
Which one is the lesbian and which one is the other lesbian
@DRUNKdadding: You know when your cat looks at your kids like "thanks to you I've been out of food for 3 days and nobody's noticed" .....?
@Ygrene: Space Cat: *furious as he knocks items off of a shelf and they just float in place, mocking him*
@TomSchally: Ever notice how loud the sound of opening a beer can at work is?
@web_supergirl: In hell, your coworker never finishes opening a wrapper.
@JermHimselfish: Your hands aren't tied down when you're at the dentist, you're allowed to put your hands in his mouth too.