@themorris23: To all the "cougars" out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves "Thundercats" shame. on. you.
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@bellicosejason: A friend just texted me & asked for relationship advice. That's like asking the pope to name all the members of Slipknot.
@fro_vo: Grandma: can you call out the bingo numbers? Me: idk i've never done it B4 Gma: holy shit you’re a natural
@rose24_em: 21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password.
@GrabTheWEness: *posts Social Security number on social media* *hopes someone steals his identity and pays off his mortgage*