@ElizaBayne: To all the men out there without ponytails: What are you afraid of? SUCCESS???
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@cloudypianos: everything in the world's horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades
@narcoticpanda: *gets hit by a car* Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?" Me: "Please... I need my... phone" *opens Twitter* Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"