@Jesusontwittorr: To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later
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@YSK_MOtiVe: My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake
@Kyle_Lippert: A young Bruce Wayne falls into a cave full of pugs. He later becomes Pugman and keeps the streets of Gotham clean and downright adorable.
@philyuck: ME: I'll sleep on it. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Ok. ME: So wrap it up. I'd like to sleep on it tonight. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Oh, you want the... ok.
@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.