@blairgarner: To apply for a job at Hooters do they hand you a bra and say, "Here, just fill this out." ?
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@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :(
@That_Matt2: You will feel dumb when we find out the guy who headshotted Harambe was from the future trying to prevent Planet of the Apes..
@Storminika: My friend just broke up with her man. I really helped her through the break up by letting her know he's no good in bed anyway.