@blairgarner: To apply for a job at Hooters do they hand you a bra and say, "Here, just fill this out." ?
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@3sunzzz: No thank you, gym membership. The only thing worse than riding a bike is riding a bike that goes nowhere.
@TheRealD_Martin: Every time I do something nice for my girl other girls ask “Where can I get a man like you” Right here baby, I cheat.
@AllieGoertz: Trying to not lose my SHIT as someone in the office kitchen continues to call Thomas the Tank Engine “Thomas the Train”