@blairgarner: To apply for a job at Hooters do they hand you a bra and say, "Here, just fill this out." ?
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@KirstenCatClub: Things a raccoon and I have in common: 1) Dark circles around the eyes. 2) Likes eating junk. 3) We're both cute but will kill you.
@LurkAtHomeMom: People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Just let her down easy ME: Ok [later] ME: *jumping in bouncy castle* I WANT A DIVORCE, KAREN