@SlipCarefully: To avoid looking at the glass as half empty or full, i drink straight from the bottle.
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@brianbowman73: I shot a man in Reno, Just to watch him cry. It was just a Nerf gun you big baby!
@chrissyteigen: "Whose funeral was this photo taken at?" John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said
@BlairLoudly: Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat's just being dramatic.
@Edie_Is_Dead: Watch as i slowly pull my shirt up over - wait, stuck in the too-small neckhole...struggling... Okay, dont watch.