@NickMotown: To back up his "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying "no it doesn't"
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@TheMichaelRock: Me *wakes up from nap* Wife: what are you doing up? Me: was I not supposed to wake up? Wife[nervous laugh] what?
@mortimermaiden: The soft snowflakes swirling in the night sky remind me of the time mom had too much gin and threw a roast duck at dad for taking her youth.