@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: I dont know why people are disappointed when they find out a celebrity crush is married.As if that was their only obstacle to being together
@DaddyJew: *slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?
@GianDoh: Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, "Why oh why does nobody reply to my emails?"
@iwearpajamas: I've been working on a new type of martial arts that involves the taking of money from Hispanics. TakeJuan'sdough.