@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
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@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”
@NicCageMatch: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later.
@drunkNnaughty: I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.
@horsedetective: Horse detective stood in the rain and looked out to sea. He thought about justice and fate. He thought about her. He thought about apples.