@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
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@TheCiscoKidder: I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from "Married" to "It's Complicated."
@okimstillhungry: Smoke detector: IS THAT A FIRE I SMELL Me: No I'm making baco- Smoke detector: IM A HERO
@Tharin_P: Whoever you are, you can't deny that Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes sounds like a legitimate title. Don't act like you wouldn't read it.
@KrunkedRobot: Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.