@ChipKellysBalls: To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...
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@SteveKoehler22: Apple Computer is taking steps to protect user privacy. Their new policy is iWon't tell...iPromise
@Brampersandon_: [leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket
@KtotheK39: I dated a guy so arrogant he walked into a post while looking at his reflection in a store window. I left him. Unconscious on the street.