@GloriaFallon123: To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don't care about being healthy and smelling clean"
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@qwertying: I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you.
@PersianCeltic: Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
@Gooooats: It turns out no one likes "the real me" and they have asked the priest to reverse my exorcism.
@thesulk: "All black people are Aiwa, and all jews are Technics." "Those are just stereo types."