@just1fool: To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids.
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? "You heard the song I was playing?" Cop: Yes I did, and now HERE I AM "ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE"
@HuttonGray: Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button.
@AmishPornStar1: I long for the days when waking up with a "stiff one" wasn't referring to my lower back.