@electrolemon: to discover what's going on with justin bieber we caught up with his manager scooter braun, who is named after two different types of razors
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@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@JordyHamrick: Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it.
@MelShutUp: Wow thank you so much for whistling at me, guy in Walmart. I've never felt more beautiful.
@chuuew: [Séance] *knock, knock* ME: Wh-who's there? [ouija board spells out A-T-C-H] ME: atch who? [spells out B-L-E-S-S-Y-O-U] ME: Dammit, Grandpa!