@electrolemon: to discover what's going on with justin bieber we caught up with his manager scooter braun, who is named after two different types of razors
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@samalmightysam: I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.
@jonnysun: when u get caugt lying on ur resume but u still try to convince the interviewer that ur qualified for the job
@ehdannyboy: I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds.
@LindaInDisguise: Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say "Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."