@Brianhopecomedy: To ensure that my wife will truly miss me when I go on trips, right before I leave I put a few spiders in the bedroom.
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@dsmitty62: I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today
@cynicanoldicus: Go ahead, post and claim my tweets as your own. Maybe later, if you like, I'll come satisfy your woman and you can take credit for that too.
@Tylerosis: There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons.