@Brianhopecomedy: To ensure that my wife will truly miss me when I go on trips, right before I leave I put a few spiders in the bedroom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@scarfdud: my 80yr/o grandma is on facebook & she is a living click-bait article, she didn't even tell me what to do with it
@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
@better_off_dad: A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night.
@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.