@PenguinCrystal: To err is human, to arr is pirate.
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@ObscureGent: Make your first kiss more memorable by letting them know about your sci-fi themed weapon collection moments before your lips touch.
@ShotOfBull: I found a message in a bottle. It said: "The girl at the end of the bar is a lot hotter than she was 2 hours ago."
@myles_morrison: Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard