@Brentweets: To err is human, to eh is Canadian.
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@aspiringtoucan: BUT WHY THE HELL is it called BUG spray not disINSECTant *Walmart worker who I have in a headlock in aisle 4* Sir please stop I don't know
@GrandadJFreeman: In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.
@fro_vo: Friend: what are u doing Me: training my pet rock Friend: that's dumb Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face* Me: no rocky, no
@werehedgehog: - How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?