@JohnLyonTweets: To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg: I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale. I am so, so sorry.
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@ThaJawn: "No, there's no way!" I totally could "No you couldn't!" *slams the rest of his beer* I can and I will -the first guy to ride an ostrich
@_Tempo11: Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I'm a big perv.
@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
@WigCannon: your call is important to us. like, super important. we all bought new outfits for this call. dave is wearing a wig