@JohnLyonTweets: To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg: I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale. I am so, so sorry.
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@_senote_: Friend: What's your favourite season? Me: Of which show? Friend: 😐 Me: 😶 Friend: 😕 Me: 😐 Me: 👀💭 Me: Oh you meant like.. the weather.
@ForeverHairy: When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.