@KevinFarzad: To everyone with a motorcycle: your motorcycle is very loud & we are all very proud of you.
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@comedianluke: If he can't build a wall, Trump is going to dig a giant hole at the border and cover it with a welcome mat like it's a Road Runner cartoon.
@GrantTanaka: son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don’t get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]
@KarlreMarks: When I travel I just throw my clothes in a suitcase because I know as an Arab they will search me at the airport and fold my clothes neatly.
@lisaxy424: It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.