@KevinFarzad: To everyone with a motorcycle: your motorcycle is very loud & we are all very proud of you.
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@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(
@wittwitbarista: My pharmacists won't return my calls anymore *snotty cries* something about no more refills. Quick someone sneeze on me! I'm lonely.
@kumailn: Every chef on Chopped's like "I was medically dead for 3 yrs & my wife married the guy who pushed me off that bridge. My specialty is bao."