@SortaBad: To impress a woman in the workplace, ignore her body and compliment her IDEAS. Example: Sharon it was a great idea to wear that tight skirt
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@_The_Man__: [in basement lab] wife: you cant just make your own honey me: (mouth dry, spitting pollen everywhere) I know that now Lisa.
@jonnysun: [trying to do standup] u kno whats funy– [someone yells 'society!'] nno– [entire audience starts laughig] wait [audience laughs louder] stop
@robotmouthfarts: Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a pickup artist. Her: Pig! [leaves] Him: *sighs* [puts away prints of exquisitely painted Ford F-150s]
@Vice_Queen: Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene except it's me throat punching you for trying to eat my food.