@SkinnieTalls: To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license.
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@suzieQ0007: Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
@dankmtl: Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!
@RamblingMachine: Too many TV ads about how you can remove blood stains off clothes with detergents & none about how you can hide the body? Where's the logic?