@SkinnieTalls: To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license.
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@RocketRankoon: [picks up date] *slides over hood of car* *slides off car onto another car* *slides off that one onto another car* *date looks at her watch*
@BonaFideIntent: HR: Me: HR: Me: HR: "..16. 16 STAPLES in Diane's forehead..." Me: HR: Me: "..it was the last twizzler" HR: Me: HR: Me: *eats twizzler*
@outsidemagazine: Yellowstone visitor upset bears didn’t show (Would like park service to train them):
@mean_crow: "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said mommy bear. "Who hasn't" muttered daddy bear. "What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"