@BevisSimpson: To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.
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@fro_vo: HOPE: why did you name me Hope MOM: you were our hope for the future DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SAVE A LOVELESS MARRIAGE: what about me MOM: same
@rockymomax: I have good news & bad news "bad news 1st" I died youre talking to a ghost "OMG & the good news?" I broke the world record for eating bees
@david8hughes: [first day as detective] Me: looks like he was shot in the head Partner: any sign of forced entry? Me [pointing at bullet wound]: well yeah