@BevisSimpson: To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@toastymoe: One of my co-workers just called the elevator a "vator". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call...
@BlindChow: [aircraft carrier] *paints a T on the helipad* Captain: No it has to have an H Me: Why? *train sounds approaching* Captain: Oh dear god
@TheMichaelRock: What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?