@KateWhineHall: To make up for all the junk I ate over the weekend, I plan to run 86 miles today.
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@TheToddWilliams: Daddy, where do oranges come from? Well son, when a red and a yellow really love each other...
@TheBoydP: “Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable…” ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out
@FUN: Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing.
@EverydayGirlDad: As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry.