@KateWhineHall: To make up for all the junk I ate over the weekend, I plan to run 86 miles today.
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@KeetPotato: "i said make him fetch" yeah? "what have you done" he looks pretty fetching to me *dog in shirt & tie* does he have a job interview or somet
@Tmoney68: [Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice.
@markedly: ME: This man's robbing me COP: No he's not M: He was doing it a second ago *puts robber's hand on wallet* come on why aren't you robbing now