@professorxavi: To me, God will always be that guy that could've made Pokemon or Star Wars real but instead was all like, "Nah bruh, malaria and AIDS."
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@LionJenkins: Lawyer: Your Honor, this verdict is bullshit. I'm outta here! Judge: Litigator! Lawyer: After a while crocodile.
@discountzen: I told my husband that instead of leaving his dirty dishes on the counter, he should leave them in 1952 so a nice housewife cleans them up.
@Storminika: My kid needs me to help him with a report on any famous black scientist. Can we do Dr. Dre?
@Heather2Go: I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone.