@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
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@SweetTweetsBRO: I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon.
@KyleMcDowell86: [job interview] "What's your biggest weakness?" "My honesty" "I don't think-" "I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"
@wolfpupy: if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance