@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
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@joeljeffrey: I have a stalker now and it's super creepy. She shows up wherever I go... her house, her job, the women's restroom. I don't know what to do.
@tastefactory: Car commercials grossly overestimate how much time I spend driving around in the desert
@jon_snow_420: luke: yoda, i wish for........ your freedom yoda: i'm not a genie. i'm a person like you. i just look really weird