@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
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@briancthayer: [house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!
@carinahsieh: imagine a rom com so perfect they never end up together and just stay enemies with sexual tension until they both die
@TheToddWilliams: A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale's heart. Let's make this happen.