@tmoswole: To my English teachers who encouraged me to create magical works of literature as a boy. Here is my 3,007th Tweet. You can be proud.
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@RobDenBleyker: I hope when the Avengers meet Spider-Man they give him shit for not helping when NYC got attacked.
@BreadFoster: Only in New York will they pay $5 a bottle for cold water, but cry when it's free from the sky.
@TheAlexNevil: *first date (Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?
@AimeeHelene1: Nothing makes me feel more "white collar" than when I'm nodding my head at someone pointing to a line graph that I know nothing about.