@jonnysun: "to my son, i leave my bathroom scale" the lawyer sighs "because where theres a will, theres a weigh. to my wife, i leave my last high five"
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@robwhisman: ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic
@IGotsSmarts: My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006.
@MrSpoonicorn: hey boy ;) is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see m- oh, it is a gu- yes i will open the cash register