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@5hael: *smashes car through your living room* Fancy meeting you here, have you been getting my text messages?
@jakob_huber: Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking? Me: No B: Tell me our company policy M: Lol, I can't even do that when I'm sober
@MomofTeen: My trophies are a result of: 80% - pity 10% - friends who are kind 10% - random strangers whose fingers slip 7% - my superior math skills