@electrolemon: To some, it's known as "soda." Some call it "pop." Some even order it as "coke" or "cola." The spicy bubble brown juice goes by many names
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@AbbyHasIssues: People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch.
@bridger_w: When someone says, "I haven't seen you in forever," a fun response is, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"
@secondofhername: If you reply with "sky" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless.
@b0dymassage: "HELP!" Joe pants. "WHAT IS IT JOE?" I belt. "I THINK SOMEBODY SWITCHED OUR ARTICULATORY VERBS WITH CLOTHING WORDS." He cardigans.