@PaulyPeligroso: To spice things up in the bedroom, I have my wife dress up as a pizza boy. Then, I have her put the pizza on the counter and then leave.
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@DaddyJew: Daddy can u get me a drink? "No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink" Fine *goes to fridge "While you're there can you grab me a beer?"
@ArfMeasures: T-REX *runs past me* ME: woah more like tyrannosaurush T-REX *stops dead* ok you first. I'm gonna eat you first