@jtrulez: To successfully fight a bear, strike it firmly in the sternum with an open palm. Congratulations. You are now fighting a bear.
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@hippieswordfish: lobster christian grey: 'my tastes are very.....singular' *opens closet door revealing hundreds of rubber bands*
@SweetTweetsBRO: The worst feeling ever is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are alcohol.
@MsSkarsgaard: Everything is so great right now, she exclaimed. Morgan Freeman: It WAS great. And so it was now that the universe decided to intervene.
@theshantilly: Non-tweeting friend: "So it's like FB?" Me: "Except everyone's mean & sarcastic & brutally honest." "Sounds awf..." "Awesome. I know."