@jtrulez: To successfully fight a bear, strike it firmly in the sternum with an open palm. Congratulations. You are now fighting a bear.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks.
@OneFunnyMummy: Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up & play dead and they usually leave you alone.
@CherBear162: In the movie Titanic it always bugged me that she stayed on the raft when clearly she had more body fat for warmth.
@TheBoydP: [two coworkers walk into my office] Coworkers: Hey! It's your two favorite people here to ask you a question! Me: Where?