@markedly: To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying
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@kevinrowe1: Doctor: Between 1 and 10, describe how much pain are you in? Me: Is married a number? That's how I get the good meds...
@clindsaysway: Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don't tell me about the great 'bargain' you found.
@downfront: Scientists discover that Jupiter's moon, Europa, may be suitable for human habitation. When asked to comment Jupiter stated, "Oh, hell no."