@Lynseyjo1: To the girl with the nazi swastika avi that just rt'd me...... You just rt'd a Jew!!!! Enjoy your evening shalom
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@LostInAisle3: It never fails: whenever I'm at a crime scene, analyzing blood splatter and bullet trajectories, someone always assumes I'm a CSI.
@IntrepidDeviant: *Arrives at ticket stall with my girl* Me: Two tickets to the movie please. Attendant: For The Hobbit? Me: No, that's my girlfriend.
@cervixsmash: I like my women with curves. Lots and lots of curves. In a sort of spiral shape, maybe with ketchup. Curly fries. I like curly fries
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then.