@Fred_Delicious: To the people complaining about my tweets. Sorry I'm not justifying your monthly subscription of $0
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@TurnpikeTony: I really don't get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she's at least 18.
@hipstermermaid: The year is 2030: All corporations have merged and every night before bed you say a prayer to your cable company.
@SexySillyGrl: Your honor, I second that motion Judge: Ma'am, I'm simply reading your husband's request to be cremated