@Fred_Delicious: To the people complaining about my tweets. Sorry I'm not justifying your monthly subscription of $0
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@JermHimselfish: I bet when kittens go to work in kitten offices that there's always one kitten whose cubicle is decorated with pictures of lonely old ladies
@SteveSuckington: We need to keep kids off drugs. It's hard enough to find them without kids buying them too
@truegritrumble: ME: I’m sorry. I’m not very creative. JOHN: Dad, we know. OTHER JOHN: It’s pretty obvious. GIRL JOHN: It’s been one of the greatest trials of our family.