@onascaleof1210: To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one.
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@audipenny: *carries 11 bags of groceries and like a whole mattress on one arm and my phone in my free hand*
@darinlovesbacon: Your honor I object! That other lawyer is saying stuff that makes my client look guilty
@LackOfShame: [Call from cell company] We can give you 15 gigs for $100 Me: Excellent! *Puts the band back together