@onascaleof1210: To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one.
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@Owl_Meat: [Car breaks down] Me:*inspecting engine* Date: is everything ok? Me: *nervously searching 100 now empty hamster wheels* haha..y-yep
@TheAlexNevil: 4 said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7, and now I'm terrified to go into the bathroom.
@squirrel74wkgn: *walks in restroom reading phone* *opens stall door & starts peeing* Guy (pooping while staring at his phone): DUDE, WHAT THE...